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How to have Threesome?(about 30 million sex partners)

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Threesome -- Fast forward through almost any porn movie, and a threesome seems like a fine way for drunken neighbors, bored coeds or PTA members to pass the time.
While this may seem like an impossible fantasy, for some guys a threesome isn't attainable only by rental or download. A lucky few make this dream come true with a combination of planning, seduction and birthday-wish begging.
We asked sex therapist Ian Kerner to tell us how to pull off this horny hat trick without anyone getting hurt.


How to Have a Threesome -- The Asking
How does a guy tactfully suggest getting sweaty with another girl to his girlfriend or wife?
Doc: Open the conversation with a discussion of fantasy. Explore your turn-ons, and then ease into the fact that you want to have a threesome.
Your honesty about why a threesome is so appealing will make the conversation go better and bring you and your partner closer. For example, explain to her why it would turn you on to see your partner with another woman. Make sure it's clear that this is about her, and not just fooling around with a different woman.


How to Have a Threesome -- Really Asking
OK, but really -- how does a guy convince her?
Doc: Some guys just try chronic begging. "What do I want for my birthday? I want a threesome. What do I want for our anniversary? A threesome."
I don't think you can convince anyone to do something they don't want to do, though. If she's expressed some curiosity, continue to explore it as a possibility through talking or maybe even enjoying some threesome pornography together.


How to Have a Threesome -- Stamina
If it happens, extremely exciting. Any tips for stamina in the face of overwhelming stimulation?
Doc: I've heard from guys who had spent months trying to set up a threesome -- convincing their girlfriend and finding another woman -- and then when it finally happened they orgasmed 40 seconds in.
Then the girls went on to have a big night without them.
Just as when you're having sex with only one other person, you have to be aware of your own body. Know your point of orgasm inevitability, and when you feel like you're getting close, which is likely to happen much sooner in a threesome, pull back. This can mean stopping all genital stimulation for a bit or just slowing down.
If a guy is really worried he's going to orgasm, he can practice a popular technique for "PE," the squeeze technique, which works great for dialing.


How to Have a Threesome -- Sharing and Caring
Some people say that in a threesome, two people want to hook up a lot more than the third does. How do you make sure that third person doesn't feel left out?
Doc: Everyone needs to be on the same page in terms of what is going to happen, including whether the focus is more centered on two people or on all three people.
While laying ground rules might seem to kill the spontaneity, most people will feel more comfortable when they know their preferences will be respected.


How to Have a Threesome -- He Who Finishes First
What is a guy supposed to do if he's finished five minutes in? Order Chinese and wait for the delivery guy?
Doc: One guy told me he was the one who was always getting up to make a sandwich.
I think there's a lot to be said for a guy continuing to participate and stimulate one or both of the other people, just like when a guy ends too soon during traditional sex. He can still enjoy giving pleasure and just watching.
Plus, his adrenaline is likely to be pumping in this situation, so he's less likely to lose interest just because he had an orgasm. A guy may be surprised by his arousal if he keeps going. A threesome is a whole different experience than partner sex, and it makes sense that his body might not respond the same before, during or after he orgasms.


How to Have a Threesome -- Finding a Third
Is there a safe way to search for a third partner who isn't skeevy?
Doc: There are lots of websites out there that make finding a third partner not only much easier than in days past, but also less skeevy, as you put it. People are looking to experiment. It's more mainstream than before. I don't think people feel the shame and secrecy they did in the past, when sex was much more narrowly defined.
Communicate over e-mail and by phone to get a sense of the person, then decide if you want to meet. You can set up a secondary e-mail account and use only your cell phone, so your privacy and safety are maintained. I suggest meeting at least once before you decide to do anything sexual.


How to Have a Threesome -- Ask a Friend?
Is it smarter to hook up with someone you know?
Doc: Asking someone you know to have a threesome can be tricky, because simply asking changes your relationship moving forward.
I think if you're going to ask a friend or someone you're otherwise acquainted with, you have to be prepared for them to say no -- and for some awkwardness if they do, including the end of the relationship. You have to ask yourself: Is it worth it? Unless they've directly expressed interest, it's easy to read into what a person may or may not be open to, so tread lightly.
If you go ahead with the threesome, there's an even greater likelihood the relationship is going to change. Just know that while it may be a great experience in the moment, you can't predict how it's going to play out afterward. Jealousy is a strong human emotion, and attraction is a fickle beast!
That said, there are obvious benefits to having a threesome with someone you know, including the familiarity and safety.


How to Have a Threesome, Regularly
Do any guys have threesomes on a regular basis with the same people, or is it usually a one- or two-time thing?
Doc: I'm sure there are people who've done it, but having repeated threesomes starts to drift into polyamory, which is usually not the point. I've found that threesomes are more of a fantasy activity, designed to spice things up or indulge a long-time desire, rather than really move toward having an ongoing sexual relationship with two people at the same time.


How to Have a Threesome, Without Jealousy
Doc: I think that's the risk you run. There are no guarantees when it comes to the human heart. Some people find they are no longer attracted to a partner after a threesome -- even if they were the one who brought up the idea. Or other times, one partner becomes plagued by insecurity.

This is the material from www.asylum.com